Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off Verified | My

The baggy board short is your enemy. Buy "jammers" or "briefs" (Speedos). Yes, you will look like a European tourist. Yes, you will feel exposed. But do you know what doesn't get sucked off by a drain? Something that is painted onto your body with spandex. You trade one social embarrassment (looking dorky) for a much larger one (looking like a plucked chicken).

Some might argue that the story is a bit one-dimensional, but the author's execution and delivery make up for it. The brevity of the account only adds to its comedic charm, making it an enjoyable and quick read.

It was a sweltering Tuesday in July. The humidity was so thick you could drink it. I decided to take my two nephews to the local aquatic center—a sprawling labyrinth of chlorinated water featuring a lazy river, a diving well, and the main attraction: The Vortex.

For something that rarely makes the evening news, the phenomenon of the "sucked-off swimsuit" is a surprisingly common aquatic nightmare. It is a story of fluid dynamics, questionable fashion choices, and the desperate, silent waddle of shame toward the nearest ladder. My Swimming Trunks Have Been Sucked Off

So, you’ve uttered the terrible words: My swimming trunks have been sucked off. You are now treading water in a public pool, feeling a draft where no draft should be.

If you search Reddit or Quora for “my swimming trunks have been sucked off,” you will find an underground army of survivors. There is the woman whose bikini bottoms were eaten by a lazy river intake. The scuba diver whose dive skin got sucked into a boat bilge pump. The water park visitor who lost his shorts on the “Tornado” slide.

Chaos reigns in the wave pool. As a 5-foot wave crashes over your head, everyone panics. People grab at you to stay afloat. In the ensuing struggle, your waistband gets hooked by a toddler’s elbow or a stray bracelet. The wave recedes, and with it, your dignity. I once saw a man’s trunks floating three lanes over like a sad, floral jellyfish. The baggy board short is your enemy

Modern swimming pools circulate thousands of gallons of water per hour. The water is pulled through skimmers (the rectangular holes at the waterline) and main drains (those white domes on the bottom of the deep end). These systems generate significant suction.

If you are reading this because your swimming trunks have been sucked off, take heart. In the grand spectrum of public humiliation, this is a 7/10 for embarrassment but a 1/10 for actual harm. No one remembers the naked guy for more than five minutes—unless he does a naked lap. Don’t do that.

: High-velocity water impact, such as hitting the water after a high dive or exiting a steep water slide, can exert enough force to overcome the tension of an elastic waistband. Yes, you will feel exposed

When swimming in the ocean, you're subject to a variety of currents and water movements. These can include rip currents, which are powerful channels of water that flow away from the shore and out to sea; wave currents, which are the movements of water generated by waves; and tidal currents, which are caused by the rise and fall of the tide.

If your waistband is loose (more than two fingers of slack), you are wearing a sail. When the water pulls the back of your shorts, the front acts like a lever, peeling the waistband over your hips in 0.3 seconds.

As I floated over the grate, the jet created a localized vacuum. The loose leg opening of my seafoam trunks acted like a sail. The fabric billowed outward, seeking equilibrium. But equilibrium did not exist. The mesh liner, that traitorous netting, was the first to go. It stretched like a spiderweb in a hurricane.

: If available, have a friend bring a towel to the water's edge to wrap around your waist before exiting.